About The Grief Alchemist

Who I Am

I’m Brian Payne, an end-of-life doula, grief support specialist, and ordained minister. I help people navigate dying, death, and grief without a script, without a timeline, and without judgement.

How I Found This Work

Two weeks into returning to school for my master’s degree, I received a phone call from my father: my stepmother had a mass in her throat, and she’d been placed on a ventilator.

I knew, without question, that this was not what she wanted. We’d talked about it more than once. So I flew down immediately and began advocating for the wishes she’d already told me clearly. We took her off the ventilator and brought her home for hospice.

What followed were some of the most meaningful weeks of my life. I fell into a role I hadn’t expected: organizing her death. Most nights, I sat up with her and listened to what she wanted. Most days, I worked to make sure she got it.

She had the most beautiful death I have ever witnessed, or even heard described.

In the process of giving her that, I found what I was meant to do. I’ve spent most of my time since learning and practicing how to share that with others.

How I Work

I’m not here to hand you a belief system, a five-stage timeline, or a script for how this is supposed to go. I’m here to help you figure out what you actually want—at the bedside, after the death, and in the grief that follows, however long that takes.

Whether you’re planning ahead, in the middle of it, or trying to make sense of a loss already behind you, my job is to be steady, honest, and present. Not to fix it. Not to rush it. To help you find ways to carry it more easily.

Let’s Chat

If any of this resonates, I’d like to hear your story too.